After that, it's no big deal. Heights don't bother them. Their body has accepted heights as a feature of the environment. It's normal to THAT person. Buddy of mine worked high steel a decade ago. Said the heights were nothing to him at the time.
But he's afraid of heights now. Because HIS ENVIRONMENT CHANGED. He doesn't work high steel. He's not SURROUNDED by his anxiety any more. To him, heights are ABNORMAL now, when they were NORMAL a decade ago.
Approach anxiety is a collection of anxieties. Fear of talking to strangers. Fear of interrupting people. Fear of running out of things to say. and Fear of looking dumb (social pressure).
Talking to Strangers
Talking to strangers is the most common. In our hunter/gatherer days, this kind of behavior could get you killed. We don't live in a tribal society any more, but our bodies doesn't understand that. Our biological programming is from the olden days.
If you do not talk to new people EVERY DAY, how do you expect to sarge at the bar? You're body will fight you. It will protect you. Unless you acclimate it.
I picked up a pamphlet on breaking habits on the trip to Vegas. It takes 21 days to form or break a habit. If that's true (and it sounds about right), it takes three weeks to overcome approach anxiety. By talking to strangers EVERYWHERE.
That means on the bus, at the gas station, line at the coffee shop, airplanes, work, restaurants, etc. Talk to a new person EVERY DAY.
Understand that if you STOP being a social creature for any length of time, approach anxiety WILL RETURN.
If lunch-time street approaches are an option, take a walk on your lunch break and open 3 sets. Open and eject if you're not up to stacking material. This will make bar sarges WAY easier. It'll slowly remove the anxiety of talking to strangers.
Fear of interrupting people
Personal Skeleton. We are raised from birth to be polite. To be considerate of other's feelings, opinion and past-times. We are a sensitive society. We're also a wussy society. The alpha man DOES take others into consideration. But he doesn't hesitate to give people the gift of his or her reality.
Why are you worried about interrupting people? Switch places with your target. If you were talking to friends and a supermodel in lingerie interrupted you, would you be pissed? Fuck no. I don't care if I was about to solve world piece.
Women are ALWAYS receptive to their knight in shining armour. Walk in, be the cool guy, and don't care about their conversation. Hell, tease them about it. After you reach the hook point apologize for interrupting and offer to leave. They'll drag you back.
These people lead boring lives. They wake up in their boring bed, they drive to a boring job in their boring car and they hang with their boring friends and talk about how bored they are.
You're not interrupting ANYTHING IMPORTANT. Not at a bar, not on the bus and not in the casino. It's your reality. Everyone else is along for the ride.
Fear of running out of things to say
I hear a lot of people saying 'I hate routines, I just want to talk normal.' Here's the thing. You're not getting laid. Why would you talk normal. Use the damn routines until 'normal' to you is 'attractive' to women.
Routines are normal conversation from someone else. Someone good with women. You're wearing the skin of successful PUAs until you develop your own.
And don't worry about forgetting what to say. It continues to amaze me how, out of nowhere, a routine I haven't used in six months drops into my head in set. Listen to your instincts on this one. If you're in set and a routine comes to mind, USE IT.
Fear of looking dumb
Women are more sensitive to this than guys are. Your body is protecting you from being outside of the norm. Being normal and boring is SAFE. Being Alpha is DANGEROUS. You are CONSTANTLY being fucked with. You are CONSTANTLY proving yourself by reacting to shit tests, cock blocks, etc.
How do you deal with it? If you're comfortable in your own skin, then you have nothing to fear. So what if your top hat looks funny. You like it. You don't care if anyone else does. Your mindset is apathy. It's your reality.
Hell, you're trying to figure out why everyone's wearing polo shirts and khakis. Looks ridiculous. Far as you're concerned, they should ALL be wearing top hats. 'Cause then you can wear khakis and stand out.
Where will I find time for all these girls?
Easy. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. What a lame fucking excuse NOT to approach. I won't talk to a girl because there's a 1% chance she might become my girlfriend? Focus on the process.
You don't have to timebridge the girl. And even if she's your thing, there's a good chance you'll fuck it up. I've met hundreds of women. And a dozen of those were completely my type. Totally compatible.
Am I upset I couldn't close them? A little. But I keep finding more. 2000 women turn 21 (or any other age) EVERY DAY in this country. Don't worry about fucking it up with one girl. Focus on learning from that girl so you don't fuck up the next one.
This kind of anxiety is all about outcome dependence. Don't worry about where the sarge goes. Worry about how well you sarge. Doesn't matter if you get a bullseye on the shooting range once in a while. Make it happen EVERY time.
Experience
The best answer I have to Approach Anxiety is to remember all the fun times you had after you ignored it. After a few good sets, you'll think back to your favorite right before you open your first set of the night. And bam, with good memories comes good energy.
Party on. And happy hunting.
